Somewhere in here is the key to fabulous investment riches. If you can figure it out, please let us know.
Somewhere in here is the key to fabulous investment riches. If you can figure it out, please let us know.

Attention All Astro-Traders & Financial Astrologers!

That was the subject line of an e-mail that hit my inbox yesterday. It was curious enough that, unlike most of the junk sent my way, I went to Google to see what and who it was all about.

The discussion was forwarded to me by a successful trader I know in the Seattle area, with the observation “It is amazing the lengths people will go to in seeking predictability” along with the tongue-in-cheek comment, “I always wanted to be an astro-trader!”

The e-mail was about a “long awaited” book -- really a trading course -- titled “Secrets of the Chronocraters,” by Dr. Alexander Goulden. The e-mail boldly claimed this work is the “DEEPEST & MOST ADVANCED work on Financial Astrology ever written!” Which to my skeptical mind, is like arguing which real housewife of New Jersey is the most probable winner of next year’s Nobel Prize in Physics.

Did I mention it is now on sale at the low, low price of $3,600? That seems like a perfectly fair price for “a concise, applied manual, which will predict market trends and turns like nothing else.”

The book comes from a website called “Sacred Science Institute", which I have my suspicions is neither an institute nor related to science. (As to the sacredness, I have no opinion.) An apparently related site, the Institute of CosmoEconomics, seems to similarly not be an institute or be about economics -- at least in the classical sense. One only hopes it is somehow tangentially related to the cosmos.

Searching the pages of the site, one finds fascinating information, if not the advertised “key to the financial markets.” As it turns out, the Dr. Goulden (what is that doctorate in, anyway?) had written an earlier book, titled “Behind The Veil.” A site called Trade2Win had an excerpt:

Consciousness enters the arenas of manifestation, down-stepping through the frequency spectra of a time matrix, in accordance with precise mathematical-geometrical templates. The accretion of (non-manifest) electromagnetic units of identity-awareness to form quarks, atoms and gross matter is ordered. So too are the processes by which the resultant spherical energy domains evolve through the spiralling cycles of time. Encoded and reproduced within each fractal iteration, each holographic tessera, are to be found the patterns and laws of the whole. Herein lies the key to the financial markets.
Long before our presently recorded history, our world bore host to civilizations who understood the science of manifestation templates, the scalar wave grids existing beyond the veil. For reasons far beyond the scope of this book, the depiction inherited by the Kabbalists does, in fact, mirror certain alignments within our reality field. But it is a distortion of the geometry of primordial consciousness.
A financial market is a spherical energy field of consciousness. Like all phenomena, its structure derives from the unseen manifestation templates. And the nodal transmission lines, the “distortive boundaries”, have a direct bearing upon price-time behaviour.

And so on. It seemingly melds some of the prior civilizations work of L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology and other science fiction, kabbalah and whatever makes up the financial astrology belief systems.

And therein lies the simultaneous blessing and curse of the financial industry: The potential rewards are so large and the avarice is so great, that no pitch is too ridiculous, no come-on too absurd, that the trading public won’t break out the credit card to buy a very expensive lottery ticket.

So long as some people indulge their lizard brains, and make investments based on biases and emotions, thriving in the markets will be much easier for the rest of us. You don’t even need to come from a civilization long before our presently recorded history.