<html> <head><style type ="text/css">body { font-family: "Bloomberg Prop Unicode I", Verdana, sans-serif; font-size:125%; letter-spacing: -0.3pt; color: #FF9F0F; background-color: #000000; text-align: left; } p {line-height: 1.25em; max-width:900px; width:expression(document.body.clientWidth > 900? "900px": "auto" );} h1, h2, h3 { text-align: left; font-weight: normal; color: #FFFFFF; } h1 { font-size: 130%; } h2 { font-size: 115%; } h3 { font-size: 100%; } #bb-style { font-size: 90%; max-width:900px; width:expression(document.body.clientWidth > 900? "900px": "auto" ); } b, strong { font-weight: bold; } i, em { color: #FEC54A; } pre { font-family: "Andale Mono", "Monaco", "Lucida Console"; letter-spacing: -0.3pt; line-height: 1.25em; } table { border: 0; font-size: 90%; width: 100%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; } td, tr { text-align: left; } td.numeric { text-align: right; } a:link { color:#53B2F5; text-decoration: none; } a:visited {color:#53B2F5} a:active {color:#53B2F5} a:hover {color:#53B2F5} </style> </head> <body> <p>By Timothy Lavin</p> <p>Are you ready? Is your soul prepared? Apple Inc., as you've no doubt noted in your prayers, will present its new version of the iPhone today. In world-historical terms, this will rank among the big ones: the wheel, the steam engine, God's revelation to Moses.</p> <p>In secular terms, it will also make a little bit of cash. Gene Munster of Piper Jaffray says Apple <a href="http://www.businessweek.com/news/2012-09-11/new-iphone-redesign-to-sell-10-million-units-within-weeks">could sell</a> 10 million of the devices. By the end of the month. Michael Feroli of JPMorgan Chase <a href="http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-09-10/how-iphone-5-sales-could-prop-up-the-entire-u-dot-s-dot-economy">estimates</a> the new phone could add as much as a half of a percentage point to U.S. gross domestic product growth in the fourth quarter -- that is, it could demonstrably affect the GDP of the world's largest economy.</p> <p>For Apple, the iPhone made up 43 percent of sales last year and perhaps 70 percent of profit. As Bloomberg News <a href="http://www.businessweek.com/news/2012-09-11/new-iphone-redesign-to-sell-10-million-units-within-weeks">noted</a> Sept. 11, the $16.2 billion that the company made in iPhone sales last quarter was almost as much as Microsoft Corp.'s $18.1 billion in total sales. Of 58 analysts tracked by Bloomberg who cover Apple, 50 -- 86 percent  -- have a buy recommendation or the equivalent on the stock.</p> <p>But forget such base metrics. Apple's spiritual munificence dwarfs its commercial ambitions. Today, you will be invited to exult in the ecstatic light of a newer, slimmer, handsomer handset. You can watch the unveiling. It will be a beautiful moment. A revelation. And you should not temper your expectations. Because Apple cannot possibly disappoint you.</p> <p>Do you suffer from anxiety? You won't. Does your husband seem distant lately? Not after today. Perhaps you've been the coach of a certain NFL franchise in Philadelphia for 13 years and can't win a Super Bowl? Behold the iPhone 5. Drought in the Midwest? IPhone 5. Mediating a conflict between antagonistic peoples claiming the same slice of land between the Jordan and the Mediterranean? An app, surely, will be delivered unto you.</p> <p>The modern soul -- yearning for coherence and meaning in a fragmented, dissolute, arbitrary age -- has found its redeemer. The rough beast has <a href="http://www.online-literature.com/donne/780/">slouched</a> through Bethlehem gate. Its name, ye seekers, is Siri.</p> <p>(Timothy Lavin is a member of the editorial board of Bloomberg View.)</p> <p>Read more breaking commentary from Bloomberg View at the <a href="http://www.bloomberg.com/view/the-ticker/">Ticker</a>.</p> </body> </html>